Tebey
Country music and country artists are no strangers to the struggles of mental health. Many of the genre’s legends and icons battled with addiction, depression, anxiety, and abuse and their thoughts, feelings and experiences have made up the raw, genuine hurt that is often found in country music. Yet, when you think about current, male country superstars who are open about their mental health journey, few examples, save names like Keith Urban, come to mind.
Tebey is the exception. He’s young, just thirty-six, and yet, his openness about his life with depression and his advocacy for teens struggling with their mental health gives him the voice of a man wiser and more authentic than his age. He knows he has talent and success as well as a shadow and it’s his honesty about the latter that is connecting him on a deeper level with the fans of his music. We recently chatted with Tebey via Zoom during COVID-19 quarantine.
TML:
“We’ve been fortunate to have some candid conversations about mental health with guys like Hugh Dillon, James Taylor, and Matthew Good and it occurred to me that we hadn’t spoken with anybody from country music who knows firsthand about living with a mental health condition. It’s just not something that jumps out at you when you think about male country artists. And then, in preparing for this conversation I’m learning that this topic is not only really quite close to you but you’re also an influential voice talking openly and raising awareness about mental health.”
Tebey:
“Yeah. I’ve been pretty open about my struggle with mental health, really with anyone who will listen open-mindedly. You know, I think the older you get, the more you kind of just don’t give a shit about what people think as much anymore. I’m sure you could probably testify to that. You know, I just don’t really care if anyone has anything bad to say about me especially if they are unaware of my struggles with mental health, but I think it’s really important to talk about it, especially someone like myself. I just feel very honoured to be able to speak with people about it in a safe environment that might ultimately help people, and me! You may not be quote unquote famous, but you know, there’s people like myself who struggle with this illness and I always say, I mean, you know, mental health, doesn’t discriminate by race, religion, personal net worth, none of that stuff. I mean, there’s people who are very successful and very well off that struggle with mental health. It’s ultimately a disease and a constant fight every single day.”
TML:
“I want to bring you back to this post that you loaded a couple of years ago for Bell Let’s Talk Day, and maybe take me back to the moment that you were thinking I’m going to write this. What you were thinking, what you were feeling and why it was so important to do it.”
Tebey:
“Yeah, I think that was one of the first times that I’d actually written an open letter to anybody who would read it, about my struggles. I just felt very compelled, you know, especially with Bell Let’s Talk the last couple of years, it’s really picked up some steam, you know, and raising awareness for mental health issues. So I just felt like it was the right time to kind of be honest with my fans and people in the industry. I mean, cause you know, anyone who knows me, knows that I can be very difficult sometimes because I do struggle with pretty severe depression and anxiety at times. So I just felt like it was an opportunity for me to kind of explain where I’m coming from and be honest with people, in a way to unburden myself too Um, and the response was great. You know, a lot of people were surprised that I would be as forthcoming as I was, but to me it was just about spreading my truth and letting people know that it’s okay, you have mental health issues. I mean, you know, no one’s going to judge you and if they do then they aren’t worth knowing.”
TML:
“You know, I think there are many guys who will read what you just said, you know, and they’re going to try and put themselves into that moment. They’re going to say, “Okay, I wanted to say the same thing. I wanted to share the same thing.” How do you get past the say, the inner critic or how do you get past the nerves as you’re typing to actually create it and then hit send?”
Tebey:
“Wow. Um, you know, I just think that I was at a place of peace with my situation. You know, it’s been a battle since my teens.. I mean, I just felt like I was at a place where I needed to get it off my chest, out of my mind and yeah, it’s a little bit scary, but for me it wasn’t really even that bad because again, I’ve come to peace with the fact that there’s a lot of people out there that hate themselves and that’s why they attack other people or try to bring someone down. What others say about me doesn’t have anything necessarily to do with me or with my mental health. I figured I would get some negative comments, but I was okay with that. And ultimately, I really didn’t. I think because the way I wrote it was so open and so honest, and there was nothing for me to gain really from it except maybe awareness and maybe less judgement from people who don’t know what I deal with in my life It was literally just me being honest. And I think people really related to that.”
TML:
“You know, in therapy, they’ll talk about the rock bottom, right? And, for me, that’s what I hear you talking about. You get to that point of the inarguable truth and there is a peace that comes with arriving because you’re not defending anymore. You’re not having to stand in mud. You’re actually standing on solid ground because you’ve gotten to that ground zero. I think that openness that you talk about leads us to have really interesting conversations with people when they can hear and see that peace come from us. I’m curious, what kind of conversations have opened up for you as a result of what you posted?”
Tebey:
“You’d be surprised how many times people say something like, “Oh, I read your open letter and I really respect that you’re doing this golf tournament that also you helps kids that are struggling with mental health issues in your hometown because I’ve suffered from depression for a long time.” Those conversations, you know, even if only brief have happened easily 10 to 15 times over the last couple of years from random people that I don’t even know, and that doesn’t include the comments that I get on posts and stuff, you know, I’d say it’s opened a safe door for many folks to connect with me and to see me as a real person, just like them.”
TML:
“Your charitable foundation for Youth Emergency Shelter in Peterborough has a really interesting focus on teens and mental health and family conflict. Tell me what’s so important in your mind and heart about teens having a safe place to go during adolescence?”
Tebey:
“It’s very easy to feel like you’re alone as a teenager when you’re not. So, this shelter – I just love that it gives teens the opportunity to speak with someone because half of the battle is being able to get what’s on your mind or whatever’s in your heart out and shared with someone who will listen. That’s why it was really important for me to support an organization that ensures that these young people have a place to go, to be safe and to have the opportunity to just speak with someone because it’s very hard to do. It’s hard to convey your emotions, as a teenager. So that they can have access to someone to talk to with no judgment and a safe place to be heard and to stay is huge, absolutely huge for young people.”
Tebey (Ottoh) is a singer, songwriter and music producer. Originally from Peterborough, Ontario, he has resided in Nashville since 2008. As an artist Tebey has many career achievements, including a #1 radio hit in 2018 (Who’s Gonna Love You), multiple Top 5’s, and three gold selling singles. Over the years Tebey has also seen his songs recorded by some of the biggest artists in both pop and country music – artists like One Direction, Cher, FLO RIDA and Fifth Harmony to name a few. In 2018 he scored his first-ever US Billboard #1 single as a songwriter for his co-written song ‘Somebody Else Will’, recorded by Justin Moore. Tebey and his wife Bridget have two young children, Elle (7) and River (5), and continue to call Nashville home.
https://www.tebeyofficial.com/
To learn more about the YES Shelter visit: https://yesshelter.ca/
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